Feng Shui of DNA

The oldest of my uncles is a real neat fellow. He drove an Alfa Romeo in Hong Kong like a maniac. One of my fondest childhood memories. He's also quite a well respected Feng Shui man. People fly him out to read their homes. He also does personal fortune telling. And it's an art dependant on the stars and complex calendrics. He is quite progressive in his application, having moved onto computerized charts many years ago.

One of the most critical parameters in determining an individual's predicted path is their exact time of birth. So critical in fact, that when I had mine done over 10 years ago, my parent's uncertainty in my hour of birth was the difference between a happy life with friends and success, and one unfulfilled with a bad marriage. Truthfully, I'm pretty sure their "uncertainty" was simply a case of not being able to accept an answer to a question they never should have asked. Knowledge of the future doesn't mean acceptance of it I suppose. Good thing I don't believe in that Chinese superstition. I like to believe I can make my life whatever I want it to be. Why would one want to know about the future anyway? If it really is the future, then there isn't a damn thing you can do about it. But I digress. We're getting off the track of my original story.

Anywho, I spoke to that uncle from Hong Kong today. He had some questions about DNA. I've heard my share of goofy misconceptions, such as how transgenic tomatos are not safe since they have DNA in them. Apparently, the newest development in the Feng Shui field is that instead of making calculations based on time of birth, it should be time that the fetus is infused with DNA. A bit weird, but well within the superstitious constructs of fortune telling. The misconception was that DNA is infused duing a point in time during pregnancy when the pain is the greatest. I had to explain that the DNA is there from the beginning when Harry sperm met Sally egg. Either way, hour of fertilization or hour of the most pain in pregnancy, it's gonna make his calculations a whole lot more complicated and uncertain. Maybe that'll help other parents believe what they want to believe.