Fallout boy

How the hell do you break a USB flash drive?! It has no moving parts and no buttons! C'mon, there's NOTHING to break in that particular gadget! But it stopped working. With my files on it. Plug it in... nothing happens. Damn it.

It's because of the electromagnetic field I emit. Many electronic items of mine have developed quirks or stopped working completely around me:

Two, count 'em, two laptops have developed fatal illnesses. Illnesses requiring motherboard replacements that would have cost more than the laptop itself. In other words, totalled. Even the current one had to be sent back to have its motherboard replaced (under warranty).

Then there are the MP3 players. There was one that broke on me, which I sent back after begging and pleading that they replace it out of warranty, just to have the new one do the same thing a few months later. The one I have now had to be resuscitated several times.

Of course there is also the myriad of watches that go on me. Most don't stop exactly, but just starts to keep time as if it was used to another space-time continuum. And no, it's not the battery!

And those who know me knows I baby my stuff. I buy each one padded outfits to make sure they're cozy. Maybe I need to start wrapping them in tin foil to insulate them from my electromagnetic aura.