Hypnosis

I'm sure it's no surprise for a guy to be hypnotized by a bikini clad girl. But she's different. Really.

Personally, I enjoy dragging her hypotonic body through narrow crevasses. One of the creepiest things is that she "twitches" randomly, like the death throes from a corpse that hasn't quite given up.

It's hypnotic. It's creepy. I just can't stop looking. I hope someone makes this into a screensaver...



Primary link

Secondary link (more stable)

That's Dr. to you!

It's over with!!!

Got my PhD!

More to follow after its sunken in...

A (last) day in the life of

The 5 o'clock sun has set on my last full day as a student. Six years I have been a grad student, and ten years I have been at the UofA. Tomorrow I wake up and defend my work against a panel of peers-to-be.

That is if I can sleep tonight.

Travesty to science

Had one more person to inform about my change in career. I never
interviewed with her for a job specifically, but she helped in getting me in
contact with the right people. She has been instrumental in my getting into
the ABMG program. She's believed in me and it was a more difficult call
than any other, even ones turning down offers.

Like others, she sang the praises of science. How it's the best life, the
most rewarding existence, and nothing else like it. It'd be a "travesty"
for science to lose me she says.

It's all true. I just don't want it enough.

Not that it doesn't feel good to have all these PIs believe in me. And none
reacted as if I'm selling out or betraying science. And all kept the door
open despite my efforts to close them. And I appreciate it all. But it's
hard not to see that they're dissappointed and that I've let them down.

And she's not the first to ask why.

It's been one of the most difficult decisions I've had to make.

It's difficult to summarize why. There are so many factors. There is good
as well as bad, just as there were highs and lows to grad school.

Maybe I just don't want the responsibility.

Maybe I just don't want the frustration.

Maybe I just don't want it enough.

Procrastination

Quite amazing how varied M&Ms can be in size.

Quite amazing what I can do to not read my thesis over.

Movie review: Crash

Definitely a thinking movie. Definitely an uncomfortable movie. Definitely a good movie.

One of those that I'll have to see a few times to get every disjointed part and how it all ties together. But that's the not key to the show.

No character is two dimensional. Everyone is complex and it's hard to love or hate any of them. Even ones that might seem alien at first gains sympathy as the story progresses. Ones you relate to betray you at the end.

7 out of 9!

Crash

Day at SemBioSys

So I was not well prepared.

I think there were definitely times when they were looking for an answer.

Sometimes I knew it and gave them what they wanted.

Sometimes I knew it and didn't feel like lying.

Sometimes I just didn't know what they wanted.

I guess it didn't go that bad. It's really quite an interesting company. I was looking foward to seeing fields of plants and big shrimp tanks, but no. But it is quite an impressive lab and office space.

Definitely nothing solid so I'll have to wait and see.

And keep looking.

New frontiers

Interview day! And really a new thing for me since I've only had academic interviews for post-docs, and those are quite different. It sure did feel different. With post-doc interviews, I'd usually get the chance to wow them with my research presentation before the onslaught of questions. But of course, for a non-research job, the specifics didn't matter.

The job itself is an internship through AHFMR at TEC Edmonton, basically the tech transfer office of the UofA. Their job is to help transition basic research the real world by commercialization.

And it's actually in Edmonton. It's a odd feeling actually. I hadn't considered that I'd be able to stay here, since academic routes all lead outwards.

At least I feel much better prepared for the interview tomorrow in Calgary!

Proceding nicely

Ah, the building next to us is coming along. Fascinating watching a building go up. Seeing how each piece of a building I take granted comes to be. It ain't no pyramid, but this will have indoor plumbing.

Carebear countdown

One week. Seven more days before my defense. Why don't they make those countdown chocolate packs that they have for christmas for this kind of situation?

I suppose every window would say 'panic'.

Jawa

Here is my Star Wars Jawa from Burger King. It's the only one that lights up! If only everything can come in SD (super-deformed) flavour.

It's a bit soaked in baby drool.

Tied!

One of my best friends just got engaged! Yea! Of course they've been together for like forever so it was only a matter of when. But exciting nonetheless.

Gag me with a spoon

Ghost Whisperer?!

Ack!

The Jason strikes back

Okay, so I suck at blogging. I admit it. Now that things have calmed down a bit and my life is upside down, perhaps I'll give it another go!

I've also decided to cheat. All the posts post-feb'5th were made retroactively, en masse. If you don't like it, you can send complaints to the customer service department.

50% of this motivation is because I see that lots can change in a few months, as have happened to my life. But of course, it's when things are most interesting, that I have the least time.

22% of this motivation is because of this fascinating blog I've been reading. Which really puts mine to shame. Oh woe, great shame. If I were a samurai or a Klingon, I'd have to take my own life by my own katana or bat'leth, respectively. If I were a Klingon samurai, I'd just be cool.

29% of this motivation is because I've decided to work on my writing. This is my baby step in practicing putting "proper words, in proper places" (Coleridge). Also, writing is not simply about conveying the topic, but also about getting to know the author through the words. This implies I have develop some kind of personality.

Percentages are accurate within +/- 1%.

Be sure to check the archived months for the posts! 70+ posts have been binge-blogged!

Statistical hypothesis testing

I got 14/16. Not bad right?

Sometimes there are concepts in school that stay just that, abstract ideas lacking intuitive real-life examples. Sure, there are illustrations of Type I and Type II errors in the detection of disease in biological samples, but the concept never meant as much as when I got 14/16.

Can you tell?

Sure, 14/16 positive positives are good. I've never complained about getting an 88% on an exam. The test itself is none too brilliant nor scientific, but in this example, it *really* does matter whether the 2/16 was Type I or Type II. Would I rather mistake a womanly looking man for a woman, or a manly looking woman for a man? Stats can be so complex and fraught with... icky-ness. Unfortunately, my 2/16 were Type I.

I'm never going to a bar without X-Ray glasses or a SRY test kit again.

An example worthy of Stats-101 textbooks.

Thanks to Screenhead.

Like shaving against the grain

Forgive me father, for I have sinned.

I just bought a mac.

The PC I had built for my dad previously has gone kaput. It wasn't well suited for a naive user anyway. Problems inevitably come up, so an easier to use system seemed more appropriate.

So it's a svelte little Mac Mini. Apple has always had great industrial design, but my gawd, this is the slowest computer ever. Chugging along anemically, only occasional commands are carried out. RAM's so cheap! Why not just ship with something a bit more reasonable performance and show off OS X?!

Geek-mode OFF... for a bit.

Golf balls sink

Just went to play golf today, first time in ages! I hadn't been on a course at all last summer, and now the first time in over a year, it's pouring rain! I thought for sure it'd be rained out, but being the ghetto course that it was, they let us play. It's a special feeling to have your underwear completely dripping, only to be topped off by the fact that I wore my pink starfish socks that day which happen to be extra thick and absorbant. I got a few good shots though and only lost three balls.

At least the rain made it easier to do a powerslide with the golf cart.

Wall to wall writers

Science writers came to town today. Representatives of the general public, civilians, if you will. So nice to talk to people interested in what I have to say! Hehe. I thought this would be a good opportunity to rub elbows if I ever want to persue writing seriously. They all have such different backgrounds: some from media, some from science.

Met one girl from Montreal who was a close talker. Maybe it's just me, but I'm far sighted and I was having trouble focusing. And it wasn't that bad or anything, just not what I'm used to. Ack, human interaction.

Unfortunately, had to miss father's day dinner.

Burning bridges

I loved the Hunt for Red October.

"When he reached the New World, Cortez burned his ships. As a result his men were well motivated." - Captain Ramius

It's about time I committed to not committing to a post-doc. It's time to burn some bridges.

I've turned down the offer from DK in Boston. It was a great opportunity, especially with doing the ABMG, but I'm in no mood to do it for three more years to get to it. I know any next step I take will still be a "means to an ends" in one way or another, but the means has to be something I'm enthusiastic about. And I'm just too darned bitter about it right now to go down that road. While I don't regret it, the dissappointment and frustration has still outweighed the triumphant times. With research, one has to really want it. It's too all-consuming. I think I would give up too much to sustain the life.

Although it wasn't yet an offer, I have also told JL in Boston that I am no longer doing a post doc and will be pursuing other interests. How generic, eh? I think the hardest ones to tell this to were the kind people with the ABMG program that were so accomodating with my visits and flexible with my acceptance.

So what to do with my life next? Perhaps a short post-doc with McDonalds. I've wanted to try something a bit different for a while now, so maybe a complete switch in career is what I need. That's shure different! And maybe now I can exercise the parts of myself that were not oft-used under my scientist-in-training hat.

I've always loved teaching. It's the greatest feeling to give someone the eureka moment when all becomes lucid. Still waiting on those CVs I sent out...

Communications would be cool. Along the same lines, but dealing with the public or investor relations. Media and advertising would be neat too, but how does one get into that?! Writing. So it'll be on the back burner for a few years, but I'll keep chipping away at it.

Intellectual property law is a popular lucrative choice. Considering the number of PFO letters so far, probably not likely it'll be easy to get my foot in.

Government is always a safe choice, but another foot in door barrier. I did apply for a couple jobs, but still waiting to hear about those. I'm sure it'd be nice to live in Ottawa.

Internship programs are available through AHFMR. Those would probably be the best way to get some relevant experience in this transition from the bench. The technology commercialization one would be great for IP law, business, etc., while the health technology assessment would lead well into health care and policy.

"Wow, looks like you have alot of choices there".

If only that were true.

It felt great to burn some bridges though...

Movie review: Batman Begins

So neat to see the beginning! Just like seeing how Vader came to be or how a mild mannered wrestler became Spiderman. The flaws in these characters is what allows us to relate to them, and this is no exception. Oh yeah, lots of fighting and explosions too. I like Christian Bale, and this isn't his best or anything, but it works. Not much of a role for Katie Holmes either, and in general very little eye candy so part and parcel of action movies. A great prequel, considering with the first Batman, one has to take a leap in his transition.

15 stars of 17!

Too little too late?

Finally, DK has gotten back to me and made an offer for a post doc position and to do the ABMG program. Three years.

What to do? This was a simple decision a month ago.

Cryostat

Remember the Seinfeld episode where Kramer gets a meat slicer and slices everything? I learnt to use the equivalent in the lab today. Although this one costs more than Seinfeld's Saab, the meat is... not edible, and slices are measured in microns. I am extremely tempted to section something edible though. I can do it while nobody's looking. Anyone care to suggest some food item, the size of a pea, and that may have interesting internal structure? I'll try to post an image if it works!

Another wrench

My first choice of my first round of interviews has sent me an unexpected message. Seems like some space will be available soon...

If only this came in March, I wouldn't have to go through all this. But it comes in June. Would I make the same choice?

The potato fiasco

I pride myself on creative cooking. But sometimes, the product deviates from what my mind's eye saw and what my mind's tongue tasted.

How can corned beef, sour cream, corn and green onions co-mingling with potato be bad?

It didn't taste all that bad, but I underestimated how long it would take a BBQ to fire them up. Ah, my last entry into the departmental picnic and only the gulls fully appreciated the harmony between salty processed meat and potato, whipped into a pinkish frenzy.

One lump or two?

Had a very productive meeting with the TC officer of the AHFMR to talk about their internship program. Sounds like it'll be a great way to get some experience. I suppose I'll have to take baby steps if I am to transition out of academic research. As long as I didn't get a PhD to retrieve coffee, I'm okay with it!

Road to policy

Made a couple more calls today regarding what to do with my life.

One was to a friend of a friend that now works with the government with Health Canada. It'd be great to work for the government! But it's getting in that's the tough part. I've applied for something in the CIPO, so cross your fingers for me!

The other was to director of the Health Law Institute here, that deals with policy making regarding health and life science issues. Always a crowd favorite, he had a few suggestions as to what I can do. Consulting? Genome Canada? Hmmm...

Mediaman

Had a quick meeting with the media guy for the faculty of medicine here. Got some good advice on writing. It's not really something I can get into right away, but like any art, I'll have to build my portfolio. But I got some leads as to where I can send stuff! Hmmm... something tells me I should have taken English 101 in first year.

Random picture

Nerdy screensaver

Capture the feel of a confocal flourescent microscope facility by turning your computer into a display of your most important discoveries!

Molecular Probes Screensaver v2

Model scientist

My fellow researcher VB examining a jar of my eppendorf tubes for manufacturing defects.

Time to decide

It's been a month and I can no longer leave the Berkeley lab up in the air. I have declined the offer. It was an extremely difficult decision, especially considering I have nothing else line up. But it's the right one made.

So now it's up to Boston, sorta.

Textbook

Ooh, I love my new camera. It has a function of taking 16 frames in rapid succession so my friends and I can analyse our golf swing! Wee! Now I can see what I'm doing wrong. Next gadget, GPS equipped range finder and score keeper. Or a bikini-clad caddie.

Community service, minus the orange overalls

Whose brain can I crack next for delicious information? The director for outreach activities on campus. I've done a few outreach programs in the past and have always enjoyed them. Hmmm... let's see, there was the time a junior high student came to the lab to do the odd experiment, the time when some teachers came by the lab, the time I went to Concordia and indoctrinated a class, and... I'm sure there were others. But as someone who also too an unconventional route after her PhD, she gave me some useful advice about where to sell myself next.

Cutiepie

Look, found a baby!