Oh Georgie, you let me down

I bought a George Foreman grill several months back. It's a typical tool in the bachelor's repertoire of kitchen gadgets. And he's so damned convincing on those infomercials. It's been sitting in its box till tonight when it got the chance to prove itself in my Kitchen Stadium.

One of the pictures on the box depicts two burgers being cooked, having its greasy life force drained away by Geroge's patented gravity. So I decided to do the same. I made some burgers from scratch, plugged ol' Georgie in and watched the smoke rise. It started promising as the wonderful aroma was escaping at record pace only a few minutes after dissappearing beneath the modern clam-shell designer lid. But when I lifted it to check, it was already completely burnt! The center was nowhere near cooked and there's no heat setting on this thing! Not to mention the drip tray is just a frustrating length as to catch the farthest most channel on the right and miss the last channel on the left. To top it all off, cleaning was not as demonstrated! You remember how they just wipe the thing clean? NO WAY! Stuff was stuck everywhere! And of course since the tray doesn't come off from the apparatus, it was a pain in the ass to clean. What's with dat, George?! I've never lent *my* name to an inferior product. C'mon, man, it used to be about the grill!

The silver lining is that I had plenty of raw material left to make four more burgers on a frying pan, and boy did they come out wonderous! I chopped in lots of mushrooms and onions, with some garlic and pepper. Added some bread crumbs, which I had to convert from a crouton state via bashing with a shampoo bottle. A couple eggs, some olive oil and my super secret flavour ingredient: (drumroll please) soy sauce and oyster sauce! Trust me, it made it AWESOME! It was juicy, tender and packed a tasty punch with every bite!