Inevitable wedding

After every bachelor party, a wedding is inevitable. Well, not after the really good ones I guess. And of course as the best man, my work was far from over. The whole day was a bit of a blur, but I think there was some isle, I produced a ring from my pants, there was dinner and some speeches. Mine was well received of course:

Version 2

[lights, cue scene]

It's great to see all the family and friends here tonight to help the new Hui's celebrate this big day. And it's an honour to have my five minutes up here to toast them.

I see that much of the audience here is from Bonnie's family so let me just tell you about who I am, and who I am to Tim. Tim and I went to highschool together, so we've known each other for well over ten years. And to Bonnie's displeasure, part of our friendship is about egging eachother on to buy things on impulse. Golf is a good example. "I'll buy a driver if you buy a driver. I'll buy a golf bag if you buy a golf bag. I'll buy shoes if you buy shoes." This tit for tat system worked very well for the retail industry. So I'm very surprise Tim didn't say to me: I'll get married if you get married!

But with my bad memory, maybe he did and he's expecting me to keep up my end of the deal next weekend!

[turn to bride]

Although if I do, I hope to do as well as he did. Bonnie, I can't imagine someone more perfect for Tim to start building a nest with. And I apologize in advance if the next time I see him, I'll say: I'll buy a car if you buy a car. But to your credit, it's a lot harder to play that game with him now.

[turn to groom]

And Tim, thanks for getting married so we'd have an excuse to have that wild raunchy stag last weekend. We promise what happened in Canmore stays in Canmore; as far as the police are concerned anyway. Seriously, congrats to you, my friend. From being something as specific as an aerospace engineer to finding the perfect gal, you've always known your goals and reached them. And I always admire that.

[turn to audience]

So let's raise our glasses for Bonnie and Tim: I wish you a lifetime of happiness and joy with each other! Cheers.

[applause, curtains]

Everything went off without a hitch... except there was a hitch. Hahaha, get it? Hitch, huh? HITCH!!! HAHAHAHAHA!